


A scar means I survived (but you didn’t)

by elletromil



Series: Tally of your love [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, mention of unrequited love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:50:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9258650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elletromil/pseuds/elletromil
Summary: Eggsy never had a mark, never let himself have one. If he started liking someone too dangerously, he would have no qualms burning all bridges with that person. It was for their sake and his own, because he refused to have them hurt by his fault and he’d rather die than give Dean another way to control him if he ever found out.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InsaneRedDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneRedDragon/gifts).



> So I was tagged today by Red in a post on tumblr about an imagine if every time you fall in love you get a red mark on your wrist. And that everytime the love is requited the mark turn black and that when the person you love dies, the mark scars over. Being my highly suggestible self, I simply had to write something for it and so I did :D
> 
> It's not _really_ a soulmate au since you can love multiple person in your life, but I seriously didn't know how to tag it otherwise sorry

Eggsy never had a mark, never let himself have one. If he started liking someone too dangerously, he would have no qualms burning all bridges with that person. It was for their sake and his own, because he refused to have them hurt by his fault and he’d rather die than give Dean another way to control him if he ever found out.

He already had a shit life because he couldn’t leave Daisy and his mum, he wouldn’t drag someone else he loved in such a situation and he wouldn’t have their heart broken when they understood they were better off without him.

Then, he had met Harry Hart and somehow been roped into training for becoming an actual spy, which had left him with very little time to fall in love and very few people he saw on a regular basis. Not that he even _liked_ the other recruits, Roxy being the exception, but Roxy was a good mate and nothing more.

And alright, Merlin was easy on the eye, but he was also _scary as fuck_ and the last thing Eggsy wanted was to become the cliché recruit who fell in love with their instructor. Also, it wasn't like he knew the first thing about the man either. Bit hard to fall in love with someone you didn’t know.

Which was why, when he changed back into his siren suit after spending 24 hours with Harry he was the first surprised to see a mark on his wrist. And a black mark at that.

There was only one explanation for it, that somehow he had fallen in love with Harry and that Harry must have a similar mark on his own wrist now, one just for Eggsy, and yet he couldn’t quite believe it. Sure he had learned a bit more about him during their time together, sure he was fit as fuck, but to have fallen in actual love?

Could that really be it? Could the giddiness he had felt around him, the desire to know all there was to know about him, the yearning to be closer just for the sake of it be what being in love felt like?

He brushed his thumb on the mark after a moment, wondering what it would mean for him and Harry. Requited love wasn’t a guarantee for a happy ending and he was bloody terrorized, but also, for the first time when love was concerned, slightly hopeful.

Harry had presented him with the opportunity to turn his life around, if there was one person he would entrust his heart to, it would be him.

He finally shook himself out of his little trance-like state and finished dressing up. Tally mark or not, he still had one more test to get through.

***

Eggsy only remembered the mark when he was changing into the suit Harry had had made for him. He was about to turn his arm around to adjust his cufflink, but he let his arm fall before he could catch sight of the scar that would now run across his wrist.

He looked around quickly, wishing for something that would help him not see the painful reminder of what he had lost, not now that he needed to keep his head in the game more than ever and his eyes fell on the watch. It was not ideal, but it would have to do.

Anything but having to see what had once filled him with a hope the likes he had never felt in his life before.

He sighed with relief when the band closed tightly on his skin, but allowed himself a moment more to recenter, to push the hurt and heartbreak deep down where no one could use it against him.

***

He was sprawled on one of the seat in the plane, not minding one bit the creases it would do to his suit. After what happened in Valentine’s lair anyway, the suit could take a bit more abuse.

Roxy was drowsing across from him, having taken Merlin’s advice to heart that they used the flight back to rest up since they would be put back to work as soon as they landed.

He wished he could do the same, but he felt too keyed-up yet, as if for some reason his adrenaline was still running through his veins.

Maybe if he removed some pieces of his modern-day armor he’d be more comfortable and he could doze until Merlin kicked them out of the plane. He started with the jacket, grumbling when one sleeve caught on his watch and removed it too without thinking.

It was only when he saw the mark that he remembered why exactly he had put the watch in the first place and this time, he didn’t try to fight off the wave of anguish. The only reason he bit back the sob was so that he wouldn’t wake Roxy up from a much needed rest.

He trailed reverent fingers on the tally mark, wondering what it would have been like to trail them on Harry’s wrist instead, wondering if Harry would have pressed a kiss on the proof of their shared love on his skin in return. If they would have even decided to try and build something out of it.

He would never know now, because Harry was dead and his tally mark was…

Was _black_?

He didn’t know how long he stared, but he wasn’t mistaken, the mark that should have been a scar now that Harry had died was still black. He would think that he had been mistaken, that the mark wasn’t for Harry, only he had spotted the scar when he had taken a glass of whatever hard liquor he had found at Harry’s before leaving for the shop.

That could only mean one thing.

“Kentucky, we need to go to Kentucky!” He heard a small crashing sound behind him that indicated Roxy had probably woken up quite brutally on the floor at his cry but he didn’t care, as he didn’t care either about the shotgun Merlin was pointing at him for having thrown the door to the cockpit open without knocking first.

“Lad, as painful as it is for me to admit it, we have more important things to do back at HQ than to go pick up-” He stopped taking when Eggsy shoved his wrist in his face.

“He’s alive! Harry’s alive!” He was that close to start laughing hysterically, or yelling nonsensically, or maybe both, when Merlin shoved his own sleeve up and thumbed one of the numerous red marks on his forearm as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

“That fucking bastard. I’ll kill him myself this time.” But he was smiling and his fingers were already flying over the control as he called out to Roxy that there was a slight changed in plans.

Eggsy didn’t return to his seat, electing to stay in the cockpit with Merlin instead, but the other man didn't seem to mind the company much. Not that he would be much of a bother anyway, because at long last, Eggsy could feel his eyes dropping and the last thing he saw before falling asleep was Merlin glancing fondly at him and the marks running up Merlin’s wrist to his upper arm, his gaze catching on one he was quite sure hand’t been there just a minute ago.


End file.
